Don't look now but...

Because of Twitter, you can get a heads-up on restaurant developments long before they’re covered in the traditional sources of industry news. But the story behind the news story is a different matter. Consider, for instance, these little-noticed wrinkles in two heavily covered recent events.

Danny Meyer is selling splinters of his empire. The famed restaurateur drew tremendous coverage (including here) when he disclosed in a cookbook that he had agreed to sell his Eleven Madison Park to the starched outpost’s manager and executive chef. Less noticed was the bombshell that he’d served up another piece of his business, this time to the company led by the owner of the Miami Dolphins, Stephen Ross.

Ross’ Related Cos., perhaps best known as the developer of New York’s chi-chi Time Warner Center, acquired an undisclosed stake in Meyer’s Union Square Events catering and restaurant-management operation for an amount that wasn’t revealed. The purpose is to pair the two companies’ expertise in developing real estate complexes worldwide, but the process is starting with the partners’ backyard.

They’ve announced that they’ll be part of the 26-acre Hudson Yards project in New York, a venture that aims to turn the old train tracks and industrial space on Manhattan’s Far West Side into a new hub of consumer activity. Few details have been revealed about the foodservice aspect, but Meyer isn’t known for peddling the same ol’ same-old.

Taco Bell redefines who’s a competitor. No, this has nothing to do with the much-covered Cantina Bell menu, which has been identified in virtually every news story as the Mexican giant’s response to Chipotle’s success. I’m talking about the new breakfast menu, a.k.a. the First Meal bill of fare, which is studded with names that vie with Taco Bell for share of stomach and franchisees.

The roster includes a pastry item from Cinnabon, Focus Group’s bakery chain, and coffee from Starbucks branded as Seattle’s Best (curiously, a former sister of Cinnabon). You can find those brand names in a number of locations beyond their namesake stores. Seattle’s Best, for instance, is also available in Burger Kings, Subways and plenty of other foodservice outlets.

There’s even a Seattle’s Best coffee flavored with Cinnabon-brand cinnamon. Clearly licensing has become a big business for each.

But each still has a sizeable network of its own retail outlets. At one time, the industry would’ve clutched its chest at such brand-name mixing. Certainly franchisees would have. Then they would’ve dialed their lawyers.

It’s part of a new wave of cross-branding—led at least in part by franchisees. A Burger King franchisee, for instance, is serving as the test partner for a new collaboration with Friendly’s. The ice cream chain hopes to open at least 10 downsized Friendly’s Scoop fast-casual-style outlets this year. The first is co-branded with a Burger King store run by New Jersey franchisee.

Bet you might’ve missed that angle in all the coverage of Friendly's comeback efforts.

Only yawning over new products is coming from the R&D team

Here’s a link that restaurant chains might want to check out for the well being of their menu development staffs. It’s an eBay listing for army cots. Clearly R&D teams have little time to swap chef’s whites for PJs when they’re cooking up new customer draws at the current pace.

Oh, and don’t forget to visit this site, too. It’s an online pharmacy that extends a price break on big tranquilizer orders. The products coming from the big brands’ test kitchens have typically been make-or-break products. Did the team come up with a new menu milestone, or will their handiwork be remembered as the new New Coke?

Burger chains are changing their burgers, pizza chains are reformulating their pizza, coffee chains are re-percolating their core coffee line, Mexican chains are rethinking what they put in a tortilla.

Think about it: With McDonald’s about to add a new chicken finger food called McBites, and Burger King introducing the Chef’s Choice this week as its new premium burger, almost all of the major fast-food chains are fiddling with their menu signatures.

What’s more, the alterations are introduced with direct or implied criticisms of the versions they replaced. Domino’s has made the most noise on that front, all but asking customers, “How could you have eaten what we formerly sold you?”

But Wendy’s isn’t much more discrete in its push of new French fries and burgers. Ditto with KFC and Kentucky Grilled Chicken. The only one showing subtlety is Taco Bell, which is quietly taking some salt out of its signatures.

McDonald’s hasn’t revealed what sort of noise it’ll make about McBites, a chicken version of popcorn shrimp (essentially deep-fried pieces of chicken meat, like the popcorn selections that have long been on the menus of KFC and Popeyes.) You can bet it won’t knock Chicken McNuggets or Chicken Selects in the introduction, but you have to wonder if customers will nonetheless regard McBites as an obvious alternative to McNuggets.

We’ll find out when McDonald’s rolls the new product next year.

The remake of fast-food signatures won’t end there. As RestaurantRealityCheck noted last week, Burger King is trying a new, thicker fry. Its stated goal of appealing to more women and children portends even more changes in products.

Might there even be some riffs on the Whopper?

This isn't the first time that such a thing has happened. In the mid-1980s, BK indeed changed the specs on its holiest of signatures, revamping the size of the Whopper's patty.

McDonald's tried to rejigger its bigger burgers so they could be garnished with lettuce and a tomato slice that wouldn't be rendered unpleasant by the heat of the patty they topped. Later, KFC introduced a bone-in roasted chicken, and Taco Bell tried reduced-calorie versions of its main items.

They all joined the Edsel in the annals of product failures.

But there are different dynamics--and learnings from those misfires--in play this time. Technomic noted in releasing some research yesterday that the fast-casual sector is influencing restaurants of all stripes. No where is that impact more obvious than in the traditional quick-service market, which has the most to lose from fast-casual's rise. Is it really a surprise that former Wendy's CEO Roland Smith publicly compared the chain's new burger line to what's available at Five Guys?

Talk amongst yourselves about it. But try to keep the noise down. The R&D teams need to catch up on their sleep.

Two headlines you didn't see

"Local" going the way of "23 skidoo"?
When did “clean” become the replacement term for “local,” “sustainable” and “farm-to-fork?” All of a sudden, it’s the term of the moment for what we old timers once tagged as natural or unprocessed.

Consider, for instance, today’s announcement that veteran concept creator Randy DeWitt is installing recharging stations for electric cars at his Whiskey Cake restaurant. The press release notes that the restaurant’s menu items are made with “cleanly produced ingredients.”

There’s even an Eat-Clean Diet. And if you’re confused, you can contact the Clean Food Network or pick up a copy of The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Eating Clean.

Taco Bell uprising on Facebook
A group of Taco Bell fanatics are using Facebook to lobby for an earlier opening time for the Mexican chain. You have to admire their resolve—and their optimism. Their page is called “3 million fans to make Taco Bell open before 10AM.” Currently it’s been “liked” by 31 people.

The page seems to be the recent offshoot of such earlier Taco Bell-related movements on Facebook as “3 million fans to get back the Beefy Crunch Burrito” and the fundamental “3 million fans.” Clearly there are people in general circulation with an abundance of unstructured time.

Taco Bell’s official page boasts about 7.1 million fans, about a 24% leap from the tally we recorded in doing our Social Media 50 ranking.

Lawsuit still hurting Taco Bell, Yum says

Taco Bell has drawn praise inside and outside the restaurant business for the way it handled a lawsuit loudly proclaiming its ingredients to be crap. The measure sought to block the chain from calling describing the content of its tacos and burritos as ground beef, arguing that there was more filler than meat in the mix.

Taco Bell’s aggressive response, waged in ads and a publicity campaign, prompted the plaintiff quietly to drop the suit earlier this week. But the chain’s franchisor acknowledged yesterday that considerable damage has been done.

“Our positive sales momentum was reversed when we were thrown a curveball with the false claim around our food quality,” David Novak, the CEO of parent company Yum! Brands, told financial analysts.

He asserted that “heavy users” of Taco Bell continued to frequent the chain as the lawsuit (and Taco Bell’s response) generated headlines in the major media. But “light users” stopped visiting and have yet to resume their earlier levels of patronage, Novak said.

“We do not expect the second quarter in the U.S. to get better,” added CFO Rick Carucci. “We have not yet been able to reverse the negative sales trend at Taco Bell.”

Analysts seemed skeptical of the assessment.

“I'm a little surprised that Taco Bell has weakened as it's gotten away from the lawsuit,” said Jason West of Deutsche Bank. “Do you think there's any other issues going on out there with the [quick-service restaurant] consumer and that are new any way in terms of gas prices or whatever it may be?”

Gas prices haven’t helped, acknowledged Carucci. But the publicity stirred up by the lawsuit was the determining factor, he contended. Taco Bell’s same-store sales were running about 4% above the year-ago tally before the story broke. Bad weather tempered that in some areas, but the decline wasn’t early as severe as what happened after the lawsuit became widely known.
If anything, he added, the damage was probably mitigated by the promotion of a shrimp-filled taco for Lent.

“We just need a little bit of time to get further away from the event,” said Carucci, as quoted in a transcripted posted by SeekingAlpha.com.

“We just don’t know how long it’s going to take us,” added Novak.

He assured the analysts on the call that the situation would not affect Taco Bell’s plans to add breakfast and remodel its stores.
“Better not,” he stressed.

The call just about coincided with Taco Bell’s announcement that it wanted a public apology from the Alabama law firm that had handled the lawsuit.

The Yum executives indirectly explained why. The attorneys had stirred up as much publicity as they could when the suit was filed and was still alive. But they very quietly withdrew it, leaving ample chatter still underway.

Taco Bell apparently wants the firm to publicly renounce its actions and to make some publicity about it withdrawal of suit.

There was no mention during the call of Long John Silver's or A&W, the restaurant brands Yum is trying to sell.

Yum's second thoughts

What a difference a year makes.

David Novak, the CEO of Yum! Brands, speaking to financial analysts on Feb. 4 about the company’s vision for Long John Silver’s and A&W All-American Food:

Our goal with Long John Silver and A&W is to make those brands stronger and to build them working with our franchisees.

Novak, as quoted in a press release issued today by Yum, the parent of Taco Bell, Pizza Hut and KFC:

We do not believe Long John Silver’s and A&W All–American Food restaurants fit into our long–term growth strategy. Accordingly, we have decided to put these two great brands up for sale.

Set a spell--and buy, buy, buy

Restaurants once competed with home kitchens. Now the challenge is shifting to the living room.

Fast-food places wove themselves into the social fabric in part by moving customers in and out before their French fries could cool. The faster the service, the faster the meal could be consumed, the quicker fast-paced lives could resume.

But now the quick-service sector is recasting itself as a place to sit for a spell. New design packages invite patrons to kick back and relax. Sip your cappucino! Surf the net! Check out our new entertainment features! What's the rush, Bunkie? Rest up a bit before resuming the grind.

That about-face is evident in the new prototypes of virtually all the major chains, from McDonald's to Panera Bread, Jack in the Box, Burger King, even Baskin-Robbins and Krystal. Today brought news that Taco Bell is similarly turning part of its dining rooms into a living-room-away-from-home, at least on a test basis. A new store in Baton Rouge, La., will outfit a portion of its eating space with cushy seats and computer hook-ups, so students from nearby Louisiana State University can hang out and study.

Some contend the residential trend in fast-food design was set in motion by Starbucks, which wanted to be a lifestyle destination, not the place to gulp down a $4 coffee. Not surprisingly, the java king continues to outpace all others in positioning its units as away-from-home dens. It's not only experimenting with highly localized cafes, each sporting a unique name inspired by the localation, but also Starbucks-branded units where you can nurse a beer or sip a chardonnay while chatting online.

If any retailer should be worried about the trend, it's Barnes & Noble, a lounge that just happens to sell books. I'd love to see the analysis of how it's come-and-linger strategy has affected sales.

But I think my desire would be second to Taco Bell's at this point. You have to wonder if kids shopping for a $2 meal will want to give their skateboards a prolonged rest.

Aren't they supposed to sell the food?

Uh-oh. If the restaurant industry is getting back on its feet, why are so many chains reverting to food giveaways, the traffic builder of choice during the downturn’s darkest days?

Today you can grab a free cup of Popeyes’ new cane-sugared sweet tea (translation for northerners: An iced tea that’s made with sugared water). Then again, maybe you’d prefer one of Taco Bell’s new Limeade Sparklers, available without charge if you download a coupon from the chain’s website.

Diabetics could really be in trouble if they’ve been scouting the deals. Friendly’s recently gave away a scoop of ice cream, and Mimi’s Café offered four free muffins on Wednesday to any patron who bought a breakfast.

Either giveaways are going to remain part of the marketing arsenal, or maybe traffic is softer than the numbers reveal.

Either way, it’s enough to make you hope for a two-for-one cocktail special.

Some blunt words about Pizza Hut & KFC

It’s not unusual for chain executives to pass long customers’ opinions of their brands. It’s another matter for the officials to relate the slams along with the gushing praise, especially while talking to investors. Yet, in a refreshing burst of candor, that’s exactly what the CEO of Yum! Brands did Thursday during a conference call about the company’s fast-food chains, Taco Bell, KFC and Pizza Hut.

Chief executive David Novak had the harshest words for Pizza Hut’s domestic operations, whose same-store sales fell a head-turning 12% during the last three months of 2009. Oh, sure, the American public loves the chain’s pizza, said Novak, but “the consumer has told us frankly that we are simply too expensive.” He noted that the venerable chain is also focusing on service speed and kitchen operations, so you have to suspect that customers aren’t tossing bouquets in those directions, either.

Novak said the chain is countering its high-price stigma with the “successfully tested” Any Way You Want It promotion, where patrons can get a customized pie for $10.

And how about KFC’s domestic operations? Oy, don’t ask.

“There is no question we have our work cut out for us,” Novak told analysts on the conference call. He ticked off the chain’s three main perception problems in the U.S.: Too much fried food, not enough value, and lousy operations.

The first two objections from customers have been addressed, he said. Indeed, KFC’s new Kentucky Grilled Chicken now accounts for a fourth of all the chicken on the bone sold by the chain.

But operations still have a ways to go, particularly in terms of service speed and not running out of some menu items before the next batch of supplies arrive, Novak acknowledged.

He had nothing but praise for Taco Bell, describing it as one of the company’s sales and profit workhorses, with ample room left to grow in the U.S. market.

The domestic arms of Pizza Hut and KFC, on the other hand, weren’t even addressed when Yum! gathered analysts in New York a few months ago for a close-up look at the company’s inner workings. “we made the conscious decision to not even cover Pizza Hut and KFC U.S. at the December analyst meeting,” he noted.

Then again, those pieces of the business still seem to be held in higher regard than Yum’s two other American fast-food brands, Long John Silver’s and A&W. “[I’m] wondering whether there is a potential to sell those brands or whether we'll see those brands continue to operate here as it relates to generating incremental cash,” Jeffrey Bernstein, the restaurant analyst for Barclays Capital, asked the Yum officials on the call.

“Our goal with Long John Silver and A&W is to make those brands stronger and to build them working with our franchisees,” countered Novak.

Taco Bell's fake and pass

Taco Bell, for some elusive reason, isn’t using the term “Super Bowl” to detail its ad plans for Football’s Biggest Game, as the chain coyly labels the media mega-event. An announcement issued today says a new flight of ads “will air before, during and following” the Game, exposing the brand’s new Five Buck Boxes to 100 million viewers. But not once do you read the “S” or “B” words in the release.

Maybe the dodge-speak is necessary because the new bargain meals are tied to the National Basketball Association, not pro football. Indeed, the Five Buck Boxes are all but dribbling and shooting foul shots. Their official name is the NBA Five Buck Boxes. The packaging is NBA-themed, the featured foods are called Taco Bell All-Star items, and they’re touted in the commercials by Basketball Hall of Famer Charles Barkley, the NBA color commentator for TNN (the Super Bowl is being aired by CBS).

What else would you expect from the Official Quick Service Restaurant of the NBA?

The announcement didn’t mention any airings of the ads during the Worldwide Multi-National Competitions a few days later in Vancouver. Some might know them as the Olympics.

Lite on calories, not credibility

Forget the celery and cottage cheese. Any serious dieter knows the way to a healthier bod these days is chowing down on tacos, ice cream and any number of chain-restaurant specialties.

Unless you’ve put a foot through the TV this NFL playoff season, chances are you’ve heard about these breakthroughs in healthful dining—boons like Taco Bell’s new Drive-Thru Diet, or the just-added frozen treats that Baskin-Robbins is touting as “better for you.”

One day, chains are touting bellybombers that should’ve come with their own stents and defibrillators. A few days into the New Year, they’re touting low-calorie sandwiches, egg-white-only breakfast wraps, and waist slimmers like peppercorn-coated steak.

Snarkiness aside, the new options provide a long-sought alternative to dishes that often had cardiologists hyperventilating. Starbucks, for instance, is inviting fans of its calorie-packed Frappucinos to offset their guilt with a new line of panini sandwiches containing fewer than 400 calories each. The coffee chain has also snagged bragging rights to being the first mega-sized chain to add an organic option, a line of Peter Rabbit-brand organic snacks.

Starbucks, as one of the industry’s New Age concepts, may be able to pull off the we’re-actually-healthy assertion. But are consumers going to redefine a chain like Dunkin’ Donuts as the place to promote your health (the chain just added the option of having its morning sandwiches and wraps prepared with egg whites)?

Hey, egg-white-only sandwiches deliver a benefit, even if your other breakfast options include a crème-filled, deep-fried ball of dough. But you have to wonder if the chains are underestimating the impressions they’ve stamped on the public consciousness through decades of touting high-indulgence items. One day a system is touting a selection that would’ve made a decadent Roman shudder, the next they’re pushing something as being heart-healthy. Is the public memory so short?

Credibility will no doubt be further strained by research indicating the calorie counts posted on some chains’ menus are low-balling the tallies by as much 50%. If the big brands are underreporting their love handle contributions when disclosure is required by law, how much trust can the public put in unverified health claims?

The industry will need to win public faith by telling the truth about its health initiatives, which should be as simple and sensible as they can be. Claiming a better-for-you bacon just won’t cut it. But swapping carrot sticks for fries would be a believable way of cutting calorie and fat intake.

Most important, the business can’t afford at this stage to make unfounded claims. If it squanders the public trust by trying to make a lard burger sound like the healthiest thing since acai, it deserves the backlash that will no doubt come.

More thinking outside the bun

The news seeping out of Yum! Brands' annual financial conference in New York suggests 2010 could be a year of hyperactive menu development for Taco Bell, the franchise company's biggest brand.

Among the changes previewed was the Mexican chain's use of two proteins that have yet to appear on its regular menu: carnitas, or Mexico's version of pulled pork, and shrimp, which is scheduled to be used in a premium ($2.79/each) taco.

Among the other products already been greenlighted, according to Janney Mongtomery Scott analyst Mark Kalinowski, are a bargain priced (89-cent) 5-Layer Burrito, and Taco Bell's first soft taco, which will feature the new carnitas.

Every year Yum holds a meeting with restaurant analysts like Kalinowski to familiarize them with the strategies of the company's chains. For the benefit of those who've been caught in a pesky time warp for the last four decades, the other brands include Pizza Hut and KFC.

Yum! steers its chains onto surprising turf

Yum! Brands has previewed some scrambles it’ll try in the next few months to juice up sales at its three major fast-food chains. But most were unrelated to the breakfast initiatives being plotted for Taco Bell and KFC.

Instead, the franchising giant is trying to remix its concepts' sales by venturing into some surprising territories. Here are some of the brand-bending undertakings Yum! described to financial analysts during a conference call on Wednesday:

--If you think Taco Bell is all about stuffing skateboarding dudes with as much bulk as they can buy for a buck, steel yourself. The chain will kick off 2010 with a national advertising for its Fresco line, a nine-item array of lower-fat and less-caloric selections.

If that's not enough of a departure from Taco Bell's traditional image, consider what looms on the horizon: "Longer term, we are most excited about breakfast," said Yum! CEO David Novak.

If the Taco Bell chihuahua hadn't passed away, he'd be letting out a Klingon death howl right about now.

--KFC--that's shorthand for Kentucky Fried Chicken, in case you're of a vintage that thinks Col. Harland Sanders was some Civil War hero--now derives 30% of its sales from Kentucky Grilled Chicken. "We have driven awareness to 75% of quick service restaurant users," said Novak, noting that the product is transforming the brand's image.

"We needed to broaden the appeal of this brand and we have done it," he said. Nevertheless, "continuing to drive trial is our top job."

--A major reason for Pizza Hut's 13% same-store sale drop in the third quarter was its image as a place for premium pizza, according to Novak. It shouldn't be a shocker, then, that the chain's new ads focus on chicken wings and a concept-within-the-concept, the bolted-on WingStreet wings brand. WingStreet is being positioned as a separate concept that piggybacks on Pizza Hut's delivery service.

Novak was far less effusive than he has been in past conference calls about Pizza Hut's new Toscani pasta line. He gave no reason why, but did note that the pizza chain has to do a better job of stressing the new diversity of its menu.

Novak noted that Yum! is in the process of choosing a new ad agency for Pizza Hut, precisely "to give the brand a fresh, more differentiated positioning." But he acknowledged that pastas already account for 10% of Pizza Hut's sales and figure into 30% of all transactions.

He also disclosed that breakfast is seen as a big international opportunity for KFC.

"When you look at KFC outside the United States, the only competitor we have is McDonald’s, so why can't we do breakfast?" he commented. "I mean, who is closer to the egg than Kentucky Fried Chicken?"

Novak also mentioned that Taco Bell is working on "a bigger beverage program," without divulging details. But the Orange County Register reported Wednesday night that at least two units in California are testing a juice bar featuring smoothies and a new frozen shake called the Frostbite.

Also available are fingerfood snacks like Mini Crispy Empanadas and Bacon Belly Bombers, along with cupcakes and cookies.

Retailers have Xmas, restaurants have the NCAA

With the match-ups set, teams from coast to coast are braced for the tip-off that officially starts March Madness. Some even play basketball.

Far, far more are restaurant staffs braced for what was once merely the NCAA playoffs, the rapid-fire series of elimination games that determines the nation’s best college basketball team. Today, the multi-week stretch clearly reigns along with Valentine’s Day, Mother’s Day and New Year’s Eve as one of the restaurant industry’s biggest promotional opportunities.

The big chains try to squeeze traffic out of the contest through tie-ins that extend far beyond traditional advertising. Papa John’s, for instance, is the official sponsor of the official March Madness bracket, the schematic that traces who wins or loses at each level of elimination, on Facebook. Arby’s announced a sandwich giveaway that kicks in only if one of the lesser-ranked NCAA contestants should beat a top seed in the first round of games.

Taco Bell has one of the stronger connections. The Taco Bell Arena in Boise, Idaho, is hosting the first series of games.

Raising Cane’s, the chicken-finger specialist, is using the NCAA Tournament as a touchstone for its first-ever targeted marketing campaign. The effort plays off dunking—in its case, the type that involves sauce and chicken-finger-dipping. Fans who want a quick party meal are encouraged to take home one of the 80-unit chain’s Tailgate ready-to-serve platters.

The chains try to connect their brand name to the high-profile tourney. But countless independents and small multi-units use the event as a direct source of business, encouraging fans to watch the games in their booths and bar stools. The Berghoff, a landmark restaurant in Chicago, will be offering $3 “Bar Bites,” free raffle tickets, and beer and bourbon tastings between 2 and 7 p.m. everyday for the next 16 days.

Restaurants in Annapolis, Md., are joining forces in a March Madness-meets-Restaurant-Week sort of promotion, which in turn is tied into a larger sales push by the Annapolis Business Association. For a three-day stretch starting March 27, local merchants will conduct a sidewalk clearance sale, while their foodservice colleagues offer food and drink specials. The intent is to pull residents downtown, where one spouse can shop while the other warms a bar stool, yells at the TV screen, and has a beer.

With the increased reliance on March Madness as a key promotional opportunity has come stepped-up risk as well. Buffalo Wild Wings has warned investors when Ohio State was eliminated early from the tournament. The chain’s units in Ohio are popular places to watch the Buckeyes, and if they’re out of it, who cares how Michigan State might be doing? The fans stay home. (OSU is ranked third in its division this year.)

The rules of promotion are also being formalized. Establishments in Kansas City are reportedly being warned of a crackdown by NCAA enforcers on the unlicensed use of the athletic association’s patented trademarks, including March Madness, the Sweet Sixteen and Elite Eight.

It's not exactly a key concern for my alma mater, New York University. Once again our team, the fierce-sounding Violets, have yet to be invited to the dance.

The tournament begins Thursday.

A dog day afternoon for Taco Bell

Shakespeare probably isn't the best starting point for canine thespian training, but my dogs are going to cash in while the market's ripe. Actually, they're more interested in scouring the carpet for unvacuumed treat crumbs. But after reading that Taco Bell has to pay $42 million to the originators of a spokes-dog's gig for Gidget the Chihuahua, I've turned into Joan Crawford. Lindsay Lohan's parents have nothing over me.

In case you were out walking your pooch, here's what happened.

Back in the late 1990s, Taco Bell ran a series of commercials featuring a beret-clad Gidget speaking in a heavily accented male voice. The dog would wax rhapsodically about Taco bell's fare, then conclude with a tagline that became part of the popular lexicon: Yo quiero Taco Bell.

By all accounts, the spot was a huge hit, and Gidget became a pop icon.

But two cartoon makers from Michigan came forward and accused Taco Bell of stealing their idea for a "psycho Chihuahua." In Taco Bell's defense, the dog never seemed that imbalanced to me, if you discount the beret and the fact it spoke.

But a jury and federal judge agreed with the pair of plaintiffs, ordering Taco Bell in 2003 to pay them $42 million in restitution. The fast-food chain countered by saying the award should be footed by the agency that created the Chihuahua commercials, which were reportedly part of a $500-million ad campaign. It sued the agency for the $42 million.

On Friday, a federal appeals court ruled that Taco Bell, not its agency, had to cut the check.

There's no word yet on how much will end up in Gidget's account.

Okay, back to coaching my lazy flea bags on "Richard III." But I fear what they really want is to direct.

Since we last met...

Sorry if I sound a little rusty. Since Nation’s Restaurant News laid me off Tuesday, I’ve not been blogging, at least about the restaurant business (though I have been doodling about my new status at Pink-slipped). I figured I’d clear some of the cobwebs by offering a few observations about the industry’s week that was:

Pretty soon T.G.I. Friday’s is going to start giving away living room sets with every meal you order. The casual chain’s frequent-guest program, Give Me More Stripes, started out with the usual bonuses for heavy traffic. Then it tried to sweeten the deal by throwing a free helping of chips and dip into the mix. Now the sector’s granddaddy is adding the whipped cream of a free dessert to any card carrier who visits a unit next weekend and buys an entree. I’m holding out for a steak-knives offer.

Taco Bell president Greg Creed has cajones bellgrande. First the chain proves it’s a badass by dissing 50 Cent. Last summer it suggested the mega-star reprise a Chihuahua’s role by serving as an unlikely pitchman for the Bell. Change your name to 79 Cent, 89 Cent or 99 Cent, the home office publicly offered, and we might be able to come through with bling-bling—a $10,000 payment to the charity of your choice [Thugs Without Bullets, perhaps? Teeth Grills for the Disadvantaged?). The proposal was put forth just as Taco Bell was rolling out a new value menu, an event that may not have snagged much publicity on its own. But Taco Bell tweaking a nasty mother like 50 Cent? Big news, dog.

50 Cent, the only rapper whose music I refuse to let my wife play when I’m in the car, responded with a lawsuit. He may try hard (and convincingly) to come off as a gangsta in the hood, but he’s a brilliant businessman who’s not going to let his name be used gratis as part of a publicity ploy.

Taco Bell should’ve been grateful that the response wasn’t a drive-by. But instead of dropping the matter, it filed a blistering defense that accused the Gangsta Formerly Known as Curtis James Jackson III of not being able to take a joke.

Indeed, the Sept. 19 court filing, brought to light yesterday by the gossip site TMZ was one big bitch-slap (Fast Company called it “counter-blathering.”) Taco Bell alleged in its filed response that 50 Cent nee Jackson “has a well-publicized track record of making threats, starting feuds and filing lawsuits,” and that his suit was merely an attempt to “burnish his gangsta rapper persona.”

“Instead of responding to Taco Bell's sincere offer in the friendly and humorous spirit in which it was issued,” the suit reads, “Jackson launched an aggressive, offensive attack on Taco Bell in the press. In a heavily publicized sound bite, Jackson threatened legal action against Taco Bell stating, "When my legal team is finished with them, Taco Bell is going to have a new
corporate slogan: 'We messed with the bull and got the horns.'"

The filing—technically an “affirmative defense”--disputes or denies each on of 50 Cents’ assertions in turn. It then asks the court hearing the action to dismiss it and make the the rapper pay Taco Bell’s legal fees.

A heads up to Creed: Remember Tupac, my man.

Just think ‘pizza’ and your delivery order will be placed. Maybe we’re not there yet, but the major delivery chains are certainly inching closer to that Isaac Asimov-ian vision. Domino’s, a leader in online ordering, added the option last week of letting TiVo users put in for a pie via the set-top box. Papa John’s announced that it would try to protect IM fanatics from malnutrition by allowing them to buy a delivered pizza without leaving Facebook, an option that Pizza Hut started added in mid-Oct.

So, let us review. Want to order a pizza? You can now do it via your phone (cell or landline), computer, Facebook account, TiVo, video game, or text-messaging capability.

My money’s on Pizza Hut as the first to accept brainwave orders. The chain should just hope it doesn’t intercept any that were beamed by 50 Cent at its sister brand.