Thursday, August 5, 2010

Absurd news roundup

Robbers, it seems, have lost their minds in the heat.

By now you’ve probably heard of the knucklehead who robbed a Wendy’s at gunpoint of $586, then called the restaurant to complain about the low take. Twice.

Each time, he advised the restaurant that it better have more cash in the till the next time he held it up.
But he’s not the only degenerate who’s giving criminals an even worse name.

A Florida man convinced a woman to join him for dinner at an Olive Garden. Meet me in the parking lot, he informed her.
The guy showed—with a gun. He robbed the woman of $90, then went inside the restaurant and ate alone.
Amazingly, he was unable to elude the police.

At least the restaurant industry isn’t alone in drawing bird-brained criminals. When a Dallas convenience store was robbed a few days ago, one of the culprits decided to climb onto the counter and dance for awhile—right in front of the camera.
She, too, proved less than a mastermind in outfoxing the police, though her two accomplices are still at large, no doubt watching, “Dancing with the Stars.”

I don’t mean to make light of such serious situations. The crews of those establishments were put in danger, and that’s hardly a funny matter. But there’s a strange comfort in knowing the desperados probably had the IQ of a quesadilla.

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