As far as I can tell, there are two main drawbacks to living on the East Coast: One, Red Sox fans; and, two, we don't yet have the West Coast's homegrown fast-food chains, particularly In-n-Out, Burgerville and El Pollo Loco. That's especially painful today as Burgerville once again refutes the notion that a restaurant chain, and a burger joint at that, can't provide locally grown produce.
If I can read through the tears, let me recount the promotion I just fielded from my e-mail inbox. It's a heads-up that Walla Walla (Washington) sweet onions are in season, which means the Vancouver, Wash.-based chain is adjusting its menu. You can now get onion rings made from the local onions, a seasonal signature of the chain, as well as a burger topped with the onions and a sour cream-and-horseradish sauce. The Horseradish Burger is accompanied by a salad of pickled Walla Walla's, fresh zucchini and grape tomatoes.
I'm dying here.
But it gets worse. Next month, the announcement mentions, the focus shifts to Washington State cherries, which presumably will be at their peak about then (we're just starting to get ripe ones here in Yankee territory). "And in September," taunts the e-mail, "it'll be peppers." As in fresh, locally grown peppers.
Hey, we have bagels.
This is why we really need to perfect transporter technology.
Okay, back to e-mailing Theo Epstein and asking if he's still pleased with the Johnny Damon trade.