Not this pigeon

As I type this, a con man is trying to swindle me because he thinks I’m a restaurateur, and a gullible one at that. It’s the classic big-order scam. If you’re never been the target, here’s how it works.

On Dec. 6, I received an unsolicited e-mail from a David Moore, who said he wanted to place a catering order for 150 grilled-chicken salads for next week, Italian dressing on the side. It’s for his mom’s birthday, he explained. Just e-mail him the bill and he’ll pay by credit card.

The e-mail was addressed to Owner/Manager, and I’m sure I was one of hundreds if not thousands of recipients. Our names were likely taken off some list the sender somehow secured, maybe from a recent industry convention whose directory they snagged. Or he might’ve plucked it from a past blog where I invited readers to e-mail me questions for the conference speakers I was covering. But that’s pure speculation.

In any case, because the solicitation came from a private individual using a Gmail account, it wasn’t caught in my spam filter. Clearly the perpetrator is playing a numbers game.

If I’d played along, I’d have sent Moore a bill, which he’d have paid with a credit card—somebody else’s. Then, right before the scheduled pickup (3 p.m. on Dec. 15, the e-mail specified), he’d have cancelled the order. I’d bet he’d have told me that his mother had gotten sick, or maybe even died.

Then he’d have asked for however much of a refund he was due. But could I send a check instead of refunding the credit charge?

How could I have refused a man who’s mother just died? Besides, I’m too busy with holiday matters to quibble. Just send him the damn check!

I was tempted to play along for a first-hand experience, then turn the matter over to the authorities. Instead, I wrote Moore back, saying I’d like to call him to discuss the order.

To my astonishment, he responded (and this is verbatim, complete with grammar and capitalization mistakes)): “i will like you to know that am hearing impaired so i can only contact you via email so i will like you to email me back with the grand total plus tax.”

Usually, the order-placer is a little craftier, calling a particular restaurant and ordering off the online menu. In my situation, all plausibility was dashed by what was clearly a mass e-mail approach. I may not be the shiniest penny in the fountain, but I couldn’t swallow that someone would casually send a large order to an unfamiliar restaurant. And, of course, I’m not a restaurateur, and my e-mail wouldn’t suggest I’m one.

Clearly the ploy must work, or the scammers wouldn’t bother. It’s like all those unsolicited e-mails that purportedly come from the Sultan of Swami, who needs only a few hundred dollars to claim millions in inheritance, which he’ll gladly share with you.
Apparently the Sultan enjoys a grilled-chicken salad from time to time.

Cue the 'Dragnet' music

After a Jack in the Box in northern California was robbed, assistant manager Jeanette Gallo filed for workers’ comp because of the stress she’d suffered. Under state regulations, it would’ve been a routine situation if Gallo hadn’t had one extraordinary circumstance: She’d helped to rob the place.

Apparently she was no master thief, and an even worse liar. The restaurant’s franchisees were tipped off by her early arrival on the morning of the heist. Their suspicions were confirmed by watching how she handled herself during the robbery, which was caught on a video monitor.

She was arrested first for grand theft, then for two felony counts of insurance fraud, to which she pleaded guilty.

Another criminal mastermind, cut short in the bloom of her career.

Reports of Jared's death--well, you know

Mark Twain once quipped that a lie will spread halfway around the world before the truth can get its boots on. With the internet, that’s obviously a gross under-estimation, especially with a hot area of interest like restaurants.

We’ve already heard about the young man who supposedly left a McDonald’s burger in his coat pocket in 1989 and forgot about it. When he discovered it years later, according to the urban legend, the sandwich looked and smelled the same. Intrigued, he bought a bunch of burgers and stored them in his basement, where they failed to decompose during the next 12 years and counting. The assertion: There are more preservative than ground meat in those patties.

I know this because the burger preserver caught his experiences on videotape, including the purchase of the original sandwich back in 1989. You can see it here, in a YouTube posting called The First Bionic Burger.

But that whopper is nothing compared to the myth that one prankster put forth this morning, much to the presumed chagrin of the Subway sandwich chain. According to that carefully cultivated rumor, Jared Fogle, the volunteer spokesman who lost a ton of weight on Subway’s fare, has munched his last footlong, dying last week precisely at 4:43 EST, just a few days short of his 33rd birthday.

The cause: Complications from a gastric bypass in 1998. In other words, he lost weight through a surgical fix, not a diet built on Subway turkey heros.

A website has already been set up to support the fib: http://jaredremembered.com. Visitors can leave their memories, not only in the form of reminiscences, but even poems.

Better check it out before the authorities shut it down. It’s a hoax of superb craftsmanship.

Caffeine capers on the rise?

It’s a weekday morning and you’re waiting for your chai latte with the other sleepy Starbucks customers crowding around the pick-up counter. Finally, the barista shouts, “John, chai latte.” A fellow a few yards over utters a “Right here!” and picks up the drink. A coincidence, sure, but not exactly one for Ripley’s.

So you wait and wait. Finally, you approach someone behind the counter. The drink was served up long ago, they explain. Someone else took it. And there’s not another chai latte for John on order.

That sequence of events has been happening frequently enough to prompt Starbucks outlets at the University of Tennessee to start checking a customer's receipt before handing over a drink, according to a website run by the school’s journalism program.

Given the economy, does anyone doubt it’s a mild scam that’ll soon be on the rise?

Another kid-related caper

Authorities are searching for a flimflam man in South Carolina who wheedles money out of restaurants by claiming they ignored warnings about a son's food allergy, according to media reports from the Greenville area of the state. He apparently puts up enough of a stink to wrest a "refund" from a place even if he can't produce a receipt. A McDonald's, for instance, reportedly gave the con artist $22 to halt a tantrum about onions being left on the boy's burger despite a heads-up the kid can't eat them.

Curiously, that refund covered two Big Macs, two Quarter Pounders, four orders of fries and four soft drinks, so the boy must be a big eater. Even more astounding was the $58 the man claimed he was due from a hospital because its cafeteria served the kid something with onions. The grifter said the lad took ill, and the money was needed to cover an allergy shot.

Hospitals tend to notice someone who looks as if they're going into anaphylactic shock. And cafeteria employees reportedly said that they hadn't had a tab over $20 on the day of the purported incident. So clearly audacity has more to do with the scam's success than reason or plausibility.

The reports do not mention a boy actually accompanying the man. But, just to increase the chances of nabbing the con man, authorities should be on the lookout for someone accompanied by a very fat kid.

Restaurateurs couldn't say 'no' to Madoff

The alleged Ponzi scheme run by New York investor Bernard Madoff counted at least two restaurateurs among its pigeons. The Los Angeles Times reported today that La Brea Bakery founder Nancy Silverton invested millions in what investors believe was a scam of historic proportions. The exact amount she lost was not revealed by Silverton, now a co-owner with Mario Batali of Hollywood’s Pizzeria Mozza and Osteria Mozza hotspots. But figures cited in the Times web posting suggest the amount exceeded $5 million.

Silverton told the Times she was warned by her father not to park all that dough with Madoff, but she spurned the advice.

The revelation follows a report yesterday by Bloomberg News that a Florida restaurateur was also stung—and may be taken a second time. The story noted that the restaurateur asked to remain anonymous in hopes of recovering the $1.5 million that is still held by Madoff’s firm. It also raised the possibility that the restaurateur will have to return $500,000 he withdrew as profits from the account and used as a mortgage before the scandal broke.

The story quotes the restaurateur as saying he would rather go to jail than give back the money, arguing that he didn’t know Madoff might’ve been running a scam.

Even restaurants that put no money in Madoff’s hands may be a bit poorer for the purported scam being busted. Reports indicate that Madoff enjoyed high-end restaurants like The Palm, and was pleasant to the staff as well as free-spending.

Very naughty ones among the nice

Coal prices will likely spike tomorrow as the market reflects several notable additions to Santa’s Naughty list. As any flying reindeer would tell you, the coal penalty is likely to be doubled because these infractions involve restaurants, and He Who Makes the List, a.k.a. the Chimney Clogger, is clearly a fan. And who wouldn’t be outraged by activities like these?

THE BIG CHECK SCAM: Businesses in Canada are being warned about a con that grifters tried to pull on a Winnipeg pizzeria, with similar stings apparently attempted in Toronto. According to the press coverage, the louts in Winnipeg almost succeeded. They contacted Gondola Pizza and said they needed $4,400 worth of pizza for a multi-day meeting of students. Then, two days before the deliveries were scheduled to start, the “customer” called back and said only half the original order would be required because of cancellations. Would the restaurant mind refunding half the payment ASAP?

Of course, the $4,400 check was no good. The crooks were betting that they could get the $2,200 refund before the place heard from its bank that the bigger check was bogus. It's another indication that restaurant scams are as common as snowflakes this holiday season.

Santa’s sentence: At least a ton of anthracite.

A THUMB IN WASHINGTON RESTAURATEURS' EYES: Operators in Snohomish County, Wash., caught a slush ball in sensitive parts when they recently opened their annual bills from the country health department. According to HeraldNet, a local news website, the department had raised the fee to $700, or double the charge for 2007. Places that didn’t remit payment within three weeks would pay double the charge, according to the news report.

Clearly someone forgot to inform the country health department that restaurants are fighting for their survival in the current economic environment. How can they absorb a hit like that? And, according to the coverage, it came as a complete surprise.

Santa’s sentence: The bituminous output of western Pennsylvania.

WISHFUL GREEN THINKING: News broke this morning of another ecologically minded initiative from Chipotle Mexican Grill, the burrito chain with a reputation of being far greener than the industry norm. This time around, according to the reports, the concept was switching to “sustainable” cutlery, or disposables that bio-degrade, starting with a restaurant in Millbrae, Calif. The only problem: It wasn’t true.

A supplier issued the press release without Chipotle’s involvement, approval or concurrence with the assertions made, according to the restaurant chain. It released a statement several hours later refuting the supplier’s announcement, explaining that it does indeed use compostable knives, forks and spoons at a Millbrae restaurant. But, it said, those eco-friendly disposables have to be used there because of a local ordinance. The chain stressed that it had no intention of switching to the degradable utensils at the other 799 restaurants in the system.

No doubt the home office was a little touchy because investors have been warily watching the one-time Wall Street sweetheart. Like every operator, it’s under intense demand to keep costs low. And bio-degradable disposables can cost anywhere from 10 to 40% more than the conventional type, according to suppliers.

Santa’s sentence: Three turns of a windmill blade. (Hey, the supplier is a green company. It’s probably allergic to coal.)

Scams, cons and short-changings

‘Tis the season to be scamming, or so the industry grapevine suggests. The holidays have generated considerable online buzz about restaurants, employees or customers being preyed upon by the unscrupulous, including some in the business themselves.

Included is something known as “tip-jacking,” where servers sweeten the tips patrons put on credit cards. A “1” may be doctored into a “4” or “7,” for instance. Or a charged tip is added to the house copy of a charge receipt for a patron who left a cash gratuity on the table. In other instances, a larger amount is merely written over what’s been listed on the tips line, as if the customer changed his or her mind.

Because the amounts are so small, the patron seldom notices before they sign. Or, if an amount is added to a tip line that’s left empty, the charged person doesn’t think to reconcile the customer copy of the receipt with what’s on their monthly charge-card bill.

In some locals, authorities are advising restaurant guests to avoid being tip-jacked by always paying in cash and either drawing a line or writing “CASH” on the tip line of a charge slip.

Meanwhile, even restaurant owners and chefs are apparently trying to pull off a bait-and-switch con. The Feedbag, for instance, reported last week that New York City is rife with bogus menu come-ons for a whole chicken. Order the bird, says the online “gastronomic gazette,” and you might not get the legs, wings and thighs. “Whole,” apparently, implies an asterisk in the minds of some chefs.

Similarly, San Francisco Chronicle restaurant critic Michael Bauer recently responded on his blog to a reader’s complaint about wine pours in the city. The reader had noticed that many places appeared to be skimping on the portions but argued that the glasses merely made the amount seem smaller. Bauer’s response:

Maybe I'll start taking a six-ounce container of water with me to various restaurants. I'll note the pour line on the glass and then when I've finished the wine, I'll pour in the water to see how much wine I actually drank. It might make for a good story down the road.

Yesterday, Bauer cited an undeniable scam in which he had unwittingly played a part. He had recently reported that Mark Denham, the chef at a local Spanish restaurant named Laiola, had left the job. Apparently someone saw the report and cooked up a way to exploit the situation. The conman called Laiola, pretended to be Denham, and concocted a story about needing $713 as a short-term loan to get himself out of a pickle relating to his car. The con artist did the same with other places where Denham had worked, taking the list from Bauer’s report.

At one of the places, an acquaintance of Denham’s had suspicions and called the chef before any money was wired. Denham blew the caller’s sting, and Bauer reported it all in his blog, apparently for the protection of other restaurateurs.