Meanwhile, in non-Tiger news...

‘Tis the season to hunker down and hope for a better next year, so the restaurant business hasn’t exactly been cranking out news like an elf production line. But a few little-noticed developments in recent days might prompt some hmm’s among the ho-ho-ho’s.

Applebee’s experiments with a server-calling system. A number of franchised stores here and there are testing a tabletop device that allows guests to summon their server if something is needed. Patrons press a button on a tabletop console, which causes a watch-like device worn by their waiter or waitress to vibrate, according to a story in the Sun News, a South Carolina newspaper.

The set-up also monitors how long the guests initially sit before a server approaches. When a hostess seats a party, she waives a watch near the tabletop console. That causes the watch of the wait staffer assigned to the table to vibrate, and an unseen timer starts. If the server doesn’t show within a minute, the manager’s watch buzzes. Then a painful electric shock is directed at the tardy server. Okay, I made that up. But it’s an interesting idea.

Server alerts have been tried for eons. The 160-year-old Tadich Grill in San Francisco, for instance, features tableside buttons on the wall that patrons can press for service. A similar set-up is a signature of a classic watering hole in New York City, the International Bar.

It says a lot that those places are known for the novelty (and kitsch) of having a server-summoning system. Plenty of other converts presumably discovered that the set-up detracted from a guest’s experience. When you have to buzz for someone to take an order, you’re unlikely to coo over the attentive service you’re getting. Unless it’s handled well, patrons might as well take a number, as if they were at the supermarket deli.

Goofy has been pink-slipped by a Disney World restaurant. Other characters had their hours cut, according to a recent post on Examiner, the network of blogs that’s been set up as grassroots news service.

If the posting is accurate, I might soon spot Goofy in a state unemployment classes. The ‘Ohana Restaurant in the Polynesian Resort of Disney World was dropped Pluto’s packmate from the character rotation, or the circulation of people in Disney character costumers during meals, according to the report.

I initially suspected he got a job as the mascot for a Major League Baseball team, since a Goofy would fit just about any of the squads. But that doesn’t explain why Rabbit, a Winnie the Pooh character to which Disney owns the rights, is also gone.

Meanwhile, Eeyore, Piglet, Tigger and Pooh himself reportedly had their circulation hours cut.

And all you see on the airwaves is non-stop reporting about healthcare.

Restaurant marketing makes the list of 2009 campaigns to remember. Unfortunately, the campaigns may not be remembered for reasons the industry should cherish.

For instance, the Wall Street Journal ranked Burger King’s de-friending crusade on Facebook as the year’s fourth best marketing program. In case you’ve forgotten the furor it sparked, the campaign rewarded Facebook users with a Whopper coupon for every 10 acquaintances they “de-friended,” or publicly designated as someone they didn’t want as a friend anymore. About 234,000 people were informed of their newfound leper status before Facebook asked Burger King to knock off the high school nonsense.

It’s vexing to see that effort on the Best of the Year list when KFC’s plug from Oprah Winfrey is on the Worst-of roster. The talk-show hostess informed viewers that they could try KFC’s new Kentucky Grilled Chicken for free, triggering a run on the Colonel’s old Kentucky chicken home.

KFC halted the giveaway, saying supplies had been depleted. But it was never clear if the chain rain out the new product or merely didn’t want to give away that much free food.

In any case, the cut-off triggered more media coverage than we’d see until Tiger was brushing broken car window off his Nike shirt. The logo would be torn off later, no doubt to Woods' delight that nothing else was torn off his body.

No green from a fibbing Pizza Hut

Pizza Hut has snagged a fair amount of press for its new building design, which made its official debut Thursday in Jacksonville, Fla. After announcing at almost the same time that it would not be changing its name to The Hut, the Yum! Brands-owned pizza specialist has stressed that the new format is a really a three-in-one restaurant. In addition to selling an array of pies, the store will showcase Toscani Pastas, previously marketed as delivery and takeout options, and WingStreet, a bolt-on Buffalo chicken wings concept that execs intend to advertise as a separate entity.

Oh, and about that rumor of a name change: Contrary to Pizza Hut’s assertions, the new prototype carries an exterior sign reading The Hut, as you can see in this picture from a local paper.

Management stresses that it’s just a test, and that the chain is indeed keeping the full Pizza Hut name. “We do use ‘The Hut’ in some of our marketing efforts,” CMO Brian Niccol said in last week’s statement.

The launch of a new prototype isn’t a “marketing effort,” especially when the new design is reportedly being stamped on 30 units already. I have trouble reconciling Assertion A with Fact B.

If you’re tallying such things, this is Stretched Truth No. 3 for Yum. Earlier this year, it made a big splash with Kentucky Grilled Chicken, which is really oven baked on a special plate that imprints grill marks. At the time of the introduction, coupons for a free sampling were distributed. Yet KFC ran a commercial that said in essence, “Sorry, but we’re not honoring those right now.” It stopped short of saying, Na-na-na-na-na-na.

Okay, perhaps there’s a disconnect between what Pizza Hut said and what it does. Such is corporate life.

But what should concern the public is what Pizza Hut didn’t say about the new prototype. In all the coverage, in all the comments made by executives to local media, there’s not one mention of a green feature. How can a resource-rich company introduce a new building design that omits conservation features? And why would it, given the savings that could be easily realized?

Maybe the chain is too busy asserting that it’ll continue to be known as Pizza Hut. It’s also important to keep The Hut sign clean and as visible as possible.

YouTube: Good for the soul?

Catholics use the confessional to ask for forgiveness. Restaurant executives seem to prefer YouTube.   

The latest mea culpa was posted Thursday by KFC, after it infuriated freebie hounds by suspending a much-ballyhooed giveaway of grilled chicken.  “On behalf of all our employees and franchisees, I just wanted to apologize to you. The response to our Kentucky Grilled Chicken has been overwhelming,” chain president Roger Eaton says in the video. “So we can’t redeem your free coupon at this time.”   

Translation: Our chicken was so good that the moochers scarfed up all the samples we were willing to give away. But here’s a raincheck and a promise of a soft drink for your troubles.   

He should’ve studied Domino’s handling of the employee shenanigans at a North Carolina unit to see what a regretful chain executive looks like. Patrick Doyle, the pizza chain’s U.S. president, came across as genuinely sorry and outraged that two knucklehead employees would mess with a restaurant’s food. “It sickens me,” says Doyle. “We sincerely apologize for this incidence…We are taking this incredibly seriously.”   

Let that be a lesson to any chain that’s considering a YouTube apology for lapses like, oh, maybe serving a snake’s head in some broccoli, or selling a Happy Meal with a condom inside.

That’s assuming T.G.I. Friday’s and McDonald’s will turn to the Tube for their make-nice efforts. Several other chains didn't use the video-sharing site to explain their big-time blunders. Instead, Quiznos just let its recent free-subs fiasco reek in public for awhile.  Crain’s Chicago Business quoted an official as charactering the Million Subs Giveaway as a marketing home run despite the fallout with some customers.   

Burger King apologized via more traditional media for its “little Mexican” depiction in a European ad campaign, but it has yet to address parents who are outraged by the chain’s SpongeBob SquarePants commercial for U.S. youngsters.   

Hey, it’s worth 15 minutes and the investment in a Flip video camera.