'I'll punch you if the roll's soggy'

A question of etiquette for those of you who’ve been monitoring the recent headlines about fast-food restaurants: Is it impolite to keep your Plexiglas visor down while you order? Or should the helmet come off altogether until you see a customer actually start to lose it?

Nah, that might be way too risky, given how quickly fists (and glass) can fly when a patron isn’t happy. And how can they turn anything less than murderous with provocations like not being able to get Chicken McNuggets for breakfast, or having your cheeseburger order botched? Geesh.

In case you missed the recent incidents of restaurant rage, here’s a quick recap that’ll get you back to “Balloon Boy: A Retrospective” before you can say “TMZ”:

A woman in Toledo, Ohio, reportedly punched a crewmember through the drive-thru window at a McDonald’s because McNuggets weren’t available at 6:30 a.m. The accused, aged 24, then allegedly broke the window with her fist. Some news reports noted the woman’s explanation that she really loved McNuggets.

What happened to the Good Ole Days when customers merely dialed 911 if they were upset about a drive-thru experience?

That incident came a few days after a customer of a McDonald’s in Kansas City, Mo., was caught on video as she threw a bucket of water and a POS terminals at counter workers because they'd given her a cheeseburger on a bun, not wrapped in a tortilla as she'd requested. The restaurant had offered to try again, but the customer wanted her money back. Rebuffed, she went on the rampage, which extended to throwing a Wet Floor sign and pushing another terminal to the ground. Then she fled.

The video, a hit on the web, led police to the culprit. She was arrested this week, about two weeks after she’d torn up the McDonald’s unit.

The drive-thru pugilist was also arrested, but released on her own recognizance pending a court appearance later this month. News reports noted that a judge instructed the woman not to revisit the McDonald’s where she couldn’t get her beloved McNuggets until lunchtime.

Well, I think I’ll put on my body armor and maybe get a McSnack Wrap.